How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Almost all of us have this one common destructive daily habit, that is, to compare ourselves to others. We compare houses, jobs, phones, cars, relationships, money, and social position and so on. What this habit does is creates negativity within us and this may also reflect in our behavior. So what should we do? How can we get rid of this habit of comparing? If this is what you are now thinking, then the three tips given below will surely prove to be of help.Understand that you never will win if you do not stop comparing

Even if you keep repeating this in your mind, and realize this consciously, it will help. Despite whatever you do, how much efforts you put in, how hard you strive, there always has to be someone who is better than you or has more than you.

Of course, you may feel nice if you buy a new smartphone which is better than the one your colleague has. But pretty soon you will find someone who has a phone better than yours. So, understand that comparing is futile

Rather than comparing yourself with others, it will be better if you develop the habit of comparing yourself to your own self. Sit back and think how much you have progressed, how much you have grown, and how close you have reached towards your aims.

This habit will help develop kindness, appreciation, and gratitude towards yourself as you notice how much you have done, and all the hurdles you have crossed. So you will be feeling good about yourself without feeling less of others.

It will be a good idea to make this a habit, say by spending a few minutes every weekend to write down how much you have achieved, how closer you now are to your life goals, what you have learned, etc

Perhaps you never might have even imagined so, but the way you behave with others also has an impact on how you think about yourself. If you have this habit of always criticizing and judging others, chances are bright you will also criticize and judge yourself often, even if unconsciously. So, try to help others and be kinder to them and you automatically will learn to be kinder to yourself.

Just try to focus on the positive things in life, the positives in others, and the positives within yourself. The more you start seeing just the good things in others and in most of all– in yourself

Be You

Fears, doubts and insecurities are all around us. Sometimes it may even seem easier to “just want to be someone else” as we wrap ourselves up in these negative feelings. The grass may appear much greener on the other side based on our perceptions and ideas. Which may or may not be slanted in the right direction, based on the past or current experiences we have had. The reality– is often the exact opposite.

What if the person you think has everything going for them looks in the mirror and hates the way they smile, or how large they think their eyes are? What if everyone else in their family has brown eyes and they are made to feel out of place for having blue ones? If the messages they have heard from family, friends or loved ones has always been negative regarding a certain characteristic or feature, their self-esteem will have taken solid hits from that.

Others may be envied for superficial beauty, wealth or relationships. People would fight to trade places with them because many of them are looking at us and thinking the same thing. You appear as the smartest person around and they wish they had the same people or conversation skills that you do. That feeling of quiet desperation to “be someone else” can be counter productive.

These are all perception and not your reality.

Rather than spend  life wringing your hands about who you can’t be, or what you don’t have in it, concentrate on finding out how to make things better for yourself. Ask questions and find solutions to how to be a better person and to accept yourself for who you are. You can always learn new skills. I completed a post graduate degree in my 50’s.

Just because that’s the way “you have always been” doesn’t mean that’s the way you must always remain. Taking steps to self-improvement can open up new doors of experiences and opportunities for you. Then you can, in turn, inspire and motivate others.

Get rid of the regrets in your conversations with yourself and focus on being a first class citizen in your own mind. Cheers

Do you remember your first sense of being self aware?

My very first memory of being self aware — I was seven years old, dressed in my favorite dress getting ready to go to church. I remember feeling present in the moment. It was my birthday. I felt for some reason that being seven was a big deal in my life. I can still see myself at that moment. It made an impact on my sense of self at that very young age. It was a challenge which I have tried to never let go of. The challenge to be myself as much as possible. Do you remember your first sense of being self aware?

Being self aware challenges us

As social beings who thrive on relationships, being self-aware enriches our ability to nurture relationships. It helps us relate to the feelings of other people.  Therefore, we cultivate friendships, we forgive, we trust, we heal from betrayal. We muster the courage to care for others, often, risking everything to reveal our true self.  Because we are self aware, we acknowledge that no one is perfect. Self-awareness underscores individual emotional intelligence. Dr. Daniel Goleman offers a body of work on emotional intelligence. He suggests that being self aware is one of the building blocks, “realms” of emotional well being. Lacking this skill can leave us in conflict with others. One way to enrich self awareness is to cultivate flexibility – and open mindedness — cut others some slack!

Being Self aware promotes versatility and open-mindedness

Knowing yourself can be very crucial to affecting the approach that you have on issues. Self-awareness in itself is the ability to actively seek to listen to the body and mind to know your natural response to change. Foster a self consciousness that is gentle towards you. Be kind to yourself. This consciousness can give clarity of focus when dealing with issues. The ability to embrace opinions, feedback, and criticism from others as a gift may be an opportunity to shape one of the very few things that will forever be uniquely you—- your character.

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